Talking to kids about online strangers, grooming and sextortion
It's a hard conversation, and an important one. Start early, stay calm, and make sure your child knows they'll never be in trouble for telling you.
Sextortion is when someone tricks or pressures a young person into sharing sexual images, then threatens to share them unless they send money or more images. Reports to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) are rising fast. Talk early and calmly, promise your child they won't be blamed or lose their phone for telling you, and know that paying rarely makes it stop.
How common is it?
- NCMEC received more than 50,000 reports of financial sextortion in 2025, about 137 a day, up from more than 36,000 in 2024. Teenage boys are the most common targets of the money-driven version, but any child can be targeted.
- The FBI has warned of thousands of financial sextortion cases involving minors, mostly boys aged 14 to 17. As of May 2025, NCMEC said it was aware of 36 teen suicides linked to sextortion since 2021.
- In a 2025 Thorn survey of 1,200 people aged 13 to 20, 1 in 5 reported experiencing sextortion (Thorn used a broad definition and an online sample).
- Most online sexual abuse involves people kids already know, not only strangers. Read the research.
Warning signs
NCMEC lists red flags like someone asking for photos soon after connecting, pushing to move a chat to a private or video app, offering to trade images, faking a romance or pretending to be younger. At home, you might notice sudden secrecy about a phone, withdrawal or mood changes.
What to say, by age
These are suggestions built on NCMEC, FBI and Thorn guidance: start early, no blame, no threats to take the device away.
- Ages 5 to 8: "If anyone online asks you to keep a secret from me, or asks for pictures of your body, come tell me. You will never be in trouble for telling."
- Ages 9 to 12: "People online aren't always who they say they are. If someone you don't know in real life wants to chat privately, asks for photos, or makes you feel weird, show me. I won't take your device away for telling me."
- Teens: "There are scams where someone pretending to be your age gets a private photo and demands money. If that happens to you or a friend: don't pay, don't delete the chat, block them, and come to me. It's not your fault, and we can get images taken down."
If it happens
- Stay calm and thank them for telling you.
Shame keeps kids quiet.
- Don't pay.
NCMEC and the FBI say paying rarely stops it.
- Save the evidence, then block.
Screenshots of the account and messages help.
- Report it.
NCMEC's CyberTipline (CyberTipline.org or 1-800-THE-LOST), and the FBI at tips.fbi.gov.
- Get images removed.
NCMEC's free Take It Down tool works for images taken before 18; it creates a fingerprint on your device so the image itself is never uploaded. It works on participating platforms that aren't encrypted.
OurDot's lesson "When Someone Pressures or Threatens You" covers this for teens, and every child has an always-open guardian line.
Sources
- NCMEC, New sextortion data for 2025 (Jun 25, 2026)
- NCMEC, Sextortion
- NCMEC, Take It Down
- FOX 9 on the FBI sextortion bulletin (Jan 18, 2024)
- AOL/NY Post, sextortion and teen suicides (Dec 10, 2025). Cites NCMEC’s count of 36 as of May 2025
- Thorn, The state of sextortion in 2025 (Jun 24, 2025)
- NCMEC, Online safety: talk about it early and often (Feb 2023)